It has taken me years to learn that ultimately, happiness comes from you. You are the creator, the motivator and the teacher of it. My mother always tells me and has always told me throughout my years, that surrounding yourself with positive things and positive people and it will quite literally breed positivity. Now, I am not a glass half full kind of gal, ok, most days I will find something to moan about and there are plenty of times a week I have to hide away in my bedroom because something is worrying/annoying/stressing me.
For the last four or so years, I have become very aware of how much of anxious person I am. I am a little worrier me, when I was a child I would worry about everything and anything and as I have grown older, I worry myself sick, I worry myself so much I cannot always leave the house. And it’s sh*t, quite frankly. But like my mother has always told me – and mothers do truly know best – surrounding yourself with positivity is a really big step in breeding your own happiness. And sometimes, that means letting some things go.
Crap things happen and the world is full of it at the moment. Just hit the news app on your phone or turn on the BBC and you will find crap, horror and shock on every station. And it is so easy and normal to feel helpless, to feel awful and feel out of control. But in the past few years of growing up and actually ‘realising things’ – don’t even underestimate Kylie Jenner, k? – there are some things you cannot control and cannot change, but changing the things you can control into positives is a little step in the right direction.
It is not limited to anything ever – possessions, people, films, makeup – it is important to walk away and let go of what does not make you the happy little bean you should be. It has taken me 20 something years to learn that, and, damn, it is hard, but my god, the results are so worth it. The other day I was clearing out my room (which automatically cleanses the soul) and found a DVD my then-boyfriend made me for my birthday when I was 16 years old, it was full of soppy stuff and something that would most likely make me really cringe now if I was to ever dare watch it back. I was in two minds about throwing it away – I have kept it for all these years, it is sentimental but also, I ain’t with the guy anymore, so what the hell am I doing?! Taking a Marie Kondo tip right out of her book, I reminded myself that this silly DVD does not serve me and it does not make me happy. Why keep something from a guy who turned out to hurt me pretty bad, five years after I moved on? He is not in my life anymore, why would I keep this thing? I threw it away, let it sink to the bottom of the bin-liner and got on with my life. And even that little action, that only requires a few minutes of thought at the time, took a weight off my shoulders, it felt good, it made me happy. It was worth the few minutes of indecision and debating.
Late last year, I cut out a friendship that was no longer making me happy. This was not any DVD, this was not an old cuddly or an old photo, this was a friendship, a bond with a fellow human being, it was hard. I changed my mind about it for weeks, it had been brewing and brewing until one day it hit me that I cannot keep talking to this person. I cannot keep trying to get on with this person. We did not get on, we could not see eye to eye and I always felt second best and for one selfish second, I knew that that to be truly happy and free, I could not feel like that. It was not worth it. I needed to surround myself with positive people, people who make me laugh, will put up with my annoying antics and people who know that friendship is a two-way thing where you both have to put the effort in and make it work. It was hard. But the minute I told myself to walk away was the minute a lot of stress and worry kindly went away and after a while, I got back to being my comfortable self again.
Walking away from what you do not need anymore, walking away from what does not make happy, does not make you a bad person. It makes you human. With everyone going on outside, there is absolutely no need to keep anything around that makes you unhappy, if you can avoid it. Mourn what you need to and slowly walk away from it, bringing your happiness along with you. Growing as a person is the most important thing on the path to true happiness and keeping those things/people/possessions is only going to take you down further.
Being happy is all that truly matters.
I can’t say I know the exact meaning, reason or purpose of this post, I just had one of those days where I wanted to write, regardless, I hope you liked or related to this!
Thank you for reading!